Let's Talk: Breakups

This is something that the majority of people will have to deal with at some point. It's painful. It's sad. It's what I'm going through right now. 

Yep, the other day I broke up with my boyfriend of nine months. And even though it was me who broke it off, it is still painful for me, and I think lots of people don't understand this - I broke up with him so that must mean that I feel absolutely nothing for him at all and I've completely moved on. No! That's not how it works at all. Yes, I did break up with him and one of my reasons was that I didn't feel the same way about him anymore. But that in no way means it wasn't painful for me. I still care about him, but more as a friend than anything else. 

All of my friends have been really supportive of me and my decision to break up with him, which is so important to me since I was worried they would all talk behind my back and think it was stupid for me to "throw him away". But (as far as I know) they haven't, and the few that I told before I actually did it, managed to keep it a secret and not leak it to the whole world. 

Something you do need to be careful of if you're going to tell someone your plans to break up with your partner is to make sure that they don't leak it! Because if they do, it will eventually get back to the person in question, and there is nothing worse than finding out you're going to be dumped by someone else. So that is an area you always need to be aware of. I told one of my really close friends a few days beforehand to get her opinion and all that, and when I told her my reasons she was really supportive of me, and even agreed with me! But before I told her, I stressed to her that if she told anyone, or hinted that she knew something but she couldn't say what (something that she is quite guilty of a lot of the time), I would know that it was her because I had only told one other girl who is currently in Japan, so I would hunt her down and kill her in her sleep, etc. etc. But she kept her mouth shut like the good friend that she is and even came and gave me a long hug after I did it (which is very rare, since she hates giving/receiving hugs).

Breaking up with someone can be so hard, because you can be seen as 'the bad guy' and you're hurting someone you really care about, but the worst thing you can do is lead them on. I was pretty guilty of doing this, because we go to the same school and we have classes together, so, like the coward I am, I actually waited until the last day of term to break up with him! Brutal, I know. 

What I found was that the hardest part wasn't the actual break up, it was getting up the courage to pull him aside and say "Can I talk to you?" It felt so surreal, like I was walking in a dream - it was super weird and really terrifying. I couldn't even get the words out! I just stuttered for a bit until he realised what I was saying. 

This was my first relationship, and it was an important part of my life. I loved my boyfriend for a long time, even though I knew he wasn't the one for me. I mean, I'm 15! I'm not exactly looking for someone to get married to just yet. I still care about him a lot and I want to be friends with him again, but I'm not sure how long I should leave it. Any tips?

Well that's all for today, sorry that this wasn't a very happy post but I needed to get it out of my system. See you next time!

Lots of love, Little Robin

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